Tragic

I don't think I can ever say I have ever put in as much effort into this relationship as my other ones.

I wanted to buy you a blue rose that you thought was pretty. I wanted to buy you a box of nice chocolates. I learnt a magic trick to try to impress you. I wanted to find you in the middle of the night, to surprise you with a gift. Because even just as a friend, I want to put my 100% and more for you.

But sometimes, reality hurts. Because when the truth sinks it, everything gets so hard, and you wonder to yourself. Why even do this anymore?

Deep down, I know it isn't worth it anymore.

Deep down, I know I shouldn't care.

Deep down, I know I am everything I say I am while you are nothing you say you are.

Because, there is no substance left in this relationship.

And it is tragic to me that today, I finally feel that I can do superficial.

Not because I want to have superficial friendships, but because I have to. It is the course of the world, much like many other things. I have to be superficial because that is the only way to live some lives.

And right now, I wish that I have never ever met you, so that the guilt and disappointment can just fade away. I am not that kind of person so why am I stooping down just to try to keep you?