What if I held on;
Maybe I could keep you in check, maybe I could make you a little happier each day, maybe I could help you find yourself, maybe I could help you get over yourself, maybe we could redefine our friendship, maybe we could both just be happy together for a little more.
Maybe you can be happier everyday because of my presence, but then eventually, I would still get hurt.
Because even if you found yourself with me by your side even if you discover what you want, I don't think you'd choose me. If only just because of the fact that I stayed.
What if I let go;
Maybe the loss would get to you, maybe you would finally sort yourself out, maybe you would finally find yourself, maybe you would be the best version of yourself, or maybe you would never find out what you want, maybe I would just fade away like one of your 'what-if's.
Maybe you would be the best that you can be, but then I wouldn't be there to see you.
Maybe you would never find yourself, but then it would be because I gave you up.
And then maybe if I did let go, I would get hurt, but more importantly, so would you.
And then because even if you found yourself without me, I don't think we would find each other back, and then I would still lose you.
The conclusion is that I would get hurt, no matter what, because I can never have you the way I want to. From the very start, from the day you said "not right now", and from the day you said you didn't want me as a rebound. If you were sitting on a time bomb, knowing it would blow up if you stood up, would you sit till the end and wait for it to explode, or would you stand up? Because I'd choose to get hurt, but still have you around. Because I'd choose to get hurt, while you don't have to feel the same.
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