Maybe it's something I'm used to when I miss you, and that something just led me to your block, and I sat at the lounge, silently thinking to myself. I contemplated again and again, if it would be a good idea. Was it a sign of weakness? Would it make it harder to bear? But it was already almost impossible to bear... Our imaginary would-be conversation went on in my head.

"Hey... Did you cry?"

"I can't say I didn't miss you at all and that a huge part of me wish that I didn't talk to you this morning, but I came over to see you, because I don't think we'll see each other until maybe after finals end..."

Even though deep down I know we probably wouldn't see each other, even after that...

And then I'd walk off. And I'd stop midway. And pat you gently on the head.

"Take good care of yourself."



I braced myself as I walked towards the door. I was scared. Much like the times I went over to ask you to forgive me. Much like the times I went over just to wake you up for breakfast. Much like all the times, just before I see you - a stomach churning with butterflies.

I knocked on the door, but you were never there... You went out. With him.