"Life just got in the way."

Why, what's wrong? Does it seem like a ridiculous reason even to you? Because it is. If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse. You don't get to keep someone who is willing to give up so much for you just to give him some excuses. Timing? There wasn't a problem with timing when you could tell him you liked him. Life just got in the way? You took so much time out in the past just to be in his company and you say you're the happiest when you are with him. Religion? That's just an excuse because your last one failed because of it. You don't get to say religion is an issue when he is willing to convert to your religion just because he wants to get closer to you, to understand you better and to learn your culture. Everything is an excuse. You know why? Because even after all these while, there has always been something there, which is especially evident when you spend a bit more time with him. You want me to name them? Right from the start, when you liked him even when you were attached. The day after you went clubbing, same day as before you went for your picnic with your friends, and he made you breakfast before that. The day after Hall Productions, the day of Frisbee IHG, the whole day leading up to Beer Mile. Your birthday. The next day, Alumni Night. Drinking with 31st JCRC. Everything else because there was so many times, too many to count. The fact that you can admit that you liked him with no uncertainties while you were attached and the fact that you could have sex with him so many times even when you had something unofficial with someone else. I'm not even mentioning the smaller things. I would think you should have been with him instead if he can keep coming in between you and other people. But it just begs the question - is timing or other excuses you have, the actual reasons why things are not working out between you and him? Or is it because you are just not brave enough to risk it all with him? The reason has never been other factors beyond your control. It has always been within your reach. But he is broken because he has always taken the reason to be that he just isn't good enough. He has accepted it. He has resigned to fate. He will always be the second best, and just another option. But it's okay. He's gonna disappear soon anyway. He gave up his time, effort, reputation, working relations, his work and so much more. He was willing to give up so much more, too, but what's the point if it's all just a battle downhill? He can accept being second best. That's just life. He was gonna migrate to New Zealand and be alone with his dogs in the future anyway. That was the plan. That was the plan. All along. You don't get to raise someone's hopes so high and then crush it into the ground. He told you he would eventually like you. He knew it was wrong to like you and he was so uncertain. Remember how you told him it was a bad thing because you were so certain that you liked him but he had to take so long just to say he liked you too? You made him feel like he was worthy of love for once and then you took it away so fast. I don't think he can get over it. Remember all these minute and small things that slowly crushed him one by one? Because he does, and to him, you will always be the one that got away.

Save me...