Perfect Little Date

She said you don't have to worry about losing me.
She said I can never get enough of you.
She said just for today.
She said she didn't know what to say.

Everything went perfect.

But I wonder if she knows that my heart literally dropped and skipped two beats when she kissed me and took me off guard.
But I wonder if she knows how I can never get enough of her too.
But I wonder if she knows how I wish everyday was like that day.
But I wonder if she knows that my time stood still for many a whiles when we were out that day, and how I wish it did, forevermore.

I went on a perfect date, with the perfect someone I don't see myself getting together with, or at least not for a long time, and it's a melancholic kind of contentment.

I found my peace.

Imperfect

A not so perfect ending to the perfect couple with not so perfect timing with a not so perfect start seems almost too perfect

Written on impulse

Also from awhile back...

Ladies and gentlemen, I come with a warning:

Don't play too close to fire.
Don't play with your prey.
Don't let down your walls.
And lastly,
Don't blink.

Because you may escape unscathed once, or twice, but when you are that dangerously close to fire, you will eventually get scorched, and when the flame is too strong and out of control, prepare, to burn in hell.

Because you might think you are the predator and in control, but know that roles reverse and tables turn. For once when dinosaurs rule the land, they have evolved to but birds now.

Because you might think you are and adult and have seen it all, or that you have great intuition or perception of a cat, or even be as sneaky or mysterious like a ninja, you might just inconspicuously let in someone your mama always warned you about.

Because you might think that you are safe in that brief, split second when you blink, but you are wrong. They will come and get you when you are not looking. Especially when you are not looking.

So friends, the time has come. My benevolence is not to be taken for granted. I am only a pushover when I'm nice.

I'm not good at it

See, the one thing that absolutely sucks about love is that you can't just skip ahead of all these shenanigans and just get to the happily ever after part. Because I'm just not good at it. I'm not good at chasing a girl. I'm not good at painting my words to make a girl fall in love with me. I know how to play the dating game, but I just don't like playing it because I can't bear to do it, and I hate the push and pull theory that people always use. I'm not good at all these kinds of things. But I know for sure that there are things that I would be damn good at. Things like making her laugh. Things like cooking for her. Things like taking care of her when she is sick. Things like giving in. Things like taking care of her 5 hypothetical children. Things like loving her and making her feel special. These are the things that I know I'll be damn good at because I'm gonna be the best boyfriend ever. But it's so stupid and unfair that I have to play this stupid dating game before I can even get to the part where I am good at.

And you said I was your happiness... So why don't you want to give it a shot? I've been saying let's try things out for so long, but you do know that when I say that, I don't mean, become a couple immediately, right? I want to take you out on dates. Up until now we don't even have one, until the one coming up on Thursday. I want to make you feel special. I want to make you feel loved. I want to make you feel like the only girl in the world. I want to do all these with you first before I even want to consider asking you to be mine.

And you said I was your happiness... But we are just friends. So if we can be that happy as friends, why not upsize that happiness? Make it last. Double it. Make it yours and something that you can call your own. Because if we can try so hard to find our ways back to each other after so many fights, even just as friends, I don't think there's any problem big enough that we cannot overcome as a couple. Don't you agree? And of course all that I've been doing for you is not just because I like you. I want to make you happy, I really do, if only for the sole reason that putting just a smile on your face makes me happy too.

And then, you say you want to keep me because I am your greatest friend ever... But then, shouldn't your better half be your best friend? One whom you can be comfortable with at anything? Someone who is, maybe, say, your greatest friend? And you were right. We've been through so much hurt, and fights. Normal friends wouldn't stay together. Normal friends would have left long ago. Normal friends would have had bad blood by now. But through it all, we fought and stayed in each other's lives, because we just cannot stand the fact that we have to lose each other. If that's not love, what is? And you said you want me to stay in your life forever and ever. If that's not love, what is? Maybe love has always been right in front of you, you just choose not to see it.